Divorce is one of the most legally and emotionally complex processes a person can go through. Even people who go into it with the best intentions often make decisions early on that cost them significantly later. Some of those mistakes are recoverable. Others are not. Understanding the most common divorce mistakes before you make them is one of the most valuable things you can do to protect yourself and your future.
Trying to Handle It Yourself
One of the most frequent and costly mistakes people make is attempting to handle their own divorce without legal representation. It is easy to understand why. Divorce can be expensive, and going it alone seems like a way to save money. The problem is that family law in Wisconsin is more complicated than it appears, and the decisions made during a divorce, especially early on, can have long-lasting consequences.
Many people start the process alone, run into a complication they did not anticipate, and then seek legal help only after serious damage has been done. By the time an attorney steps in to correct earlier errors, the fees are often significantly higher than they would have been with early representation, and some mistakes cannot be undone at all. Getting legal guidance from the start is almost always the more cost-effective choice, even when it does not feel that way at the outset.
Walking Into a Temporary Hearing Without Preparation
A temporary hearing is one of the first major events in a Wisconsin divorce. It is the hearing where the court issues temporary orders covering custody, child placement, and child support while the case is still ongoing. Many people do not realize just how consequential these early orders can be.
Temporary orders are meant to be temporary, but they often reflect what the court ends up ordering in the final decree, especially on matters of placement. A temporary child support amount can also be locked in for the duration of the divorce, which in contested cases can take a year or more. Clients who walk into these hearings without representation have sometimes ended up paying significantly more in ongoing child support than they would have spent on an attorney before the hearing. The cost of being unprepared at a temporary hearing can follow you for the entire length of your case.
Using the Children as a Weapon
Divorce is painful, and it is natural to feel anger toward your spouse. But allowing that anger to affect how you handle co-parenting during and after the divorce is one of the most damaging things you can do, both for your children and for your case.
Wisconsin courts make custody and placement decisions based on the best interest of the child. One of the factors they consider is each parent’s willingness to support the other parent’s relationship with the children. A parent who bad-mouths the other parent to the children, who uses parenting time as leverage, or who attempts to alienate the children from the other parent will not be viewed favorably by the court. Judges have seen these behaviors countless times, and they recognize them for what they are.
Beyond the legal consequences, this behavior causes real harm to children who are already navigating a difficult transition. Keeping conflict away from the children and prioritizing their wellbeing is not just the right legal strategy, it is the right thing to do.
Making False Claims in Court
Related to the above, some people believe that making serious allegations against their spouse, even allegations that are not fully supported by evidence, will help their case. This strategy almost always backfires. Judges and family law attorneys have seen exaggerated or fabricated claims many times, and when a pattern of dishonesty emerges, it damages the credibility of the person making the claims across every issue in the case.
If you have legitimate concerns, whether about your spouse’s parenting, their financial disclosures, or their conduct during the marriage, the right approach is to document those concerns carefully and present them with evidence. Speculation and exaggeration are not substitutes for facts, and the court will treat them accordingly.
Hiding Assets or Withholding Financial Information
Wisconsin requires full financial disclosure from both parties in a divorce. This is not optional. Attempting to hide assets, underreport income, or delay the exchange of financial information is not only a bad strategy, it can have serious legal consequences including being held in contempt of court.
Courts and experienced attorneys know the signs of hidden assets. If it is discovered that you concealed financial information, you risk losing credibility with the judge on every other issue in the case, and the court has the power to award the other spouse a larger share of the marital estate as a consequence.
What to Do Instead
The simplest advice is also the most effective: be cooperative, be honest, and be prepared. Cooperate with the process even when it is frustrating. Disclose your financial information fully and promptly. Follow court orders even when you disagree with them, and address disagreements through your attorney rather than by taking matters into your own hands.
Before you file or respond to a filing, take time to gather your financial documents, take photos or inventory of significant personal property, and consult with an attorney who can explain your rights and help you avoid the missteps that make difficult divorces even harder.